5 Easy Ways To Ruin A Motorcycle Tour

For someone who spends a lot of time planning motorcycle trips, it might seem odd to talk about some of the ways to ruin a motorcycle tour.

It all started, as it usually does, as a conversation over a mug of tea. Perhaps it was the addition of biscuits that led us down this path, or perhaps by discussing what made a trip memorable, we noticed the things we had avoided that could have thrown a spanner in the works.

Either way, for your consideration, here is our list of good ways to ruin a motorcycle tour.

What Works For You

A motorcycle tour can be so many different things. Some people want to get there and back as quickly as possible, while others want to stop and take photos. Camping or B&Bs for overnight stops. Visiting places or riding the motorcycle. Hammering the twisties or cruising in the sunshine. There are a million variations.

The number one way to ruin a good motorcycle tour is to do something that isn’t you.

This is why there is an ever-increasing number of bikers who tour solo. We have one in our office, Roger. A few weeks back, Roger went missing. After a couple of days, I sent him a text, and it turned out he was at the World Superbike round at Assen.

He had the desire to get away, so he turned off his mobile phone and spent three days camping and watching motorcycles go around in circles.

The perfect way to ruin that motorcycle tour would have been to invite the rest of us along.

Analysis Paralysis

For good or for bad, we live in a world where, armed with a mobile phone and a credit card, there isn’t much that cannot be achieved. Doing a Roger is one way of approaching motorcycle touring. I prefer to have a bit more of a plan.

I have in the past planned tours of twenty days or more, and I knew where we would be every single night. I would take a deep dive into the planning and celebrate securing the best deals on overnight stays, as booking in advance often results in the best rooms at the lowest prices.

The downside of this approach is that you may feel locked into a predetermined agenda. What should be a relaxing and enjoyable experience becomes a series of challenges to reach the next night stop.

Whereas it is good to have some sort of a plan, so you know you have somewhere to sleep that night, you don’t need to be overly rigid.

As long as you know what sort of weather to expect, the countries you are going to, and have a good idea of how you’ll deal with everything going to absolute custard and needing to bail out of the tour, the rest of it will be a series of “first world problems”.

Our road test of the Suzuki GSX-S1000GT back in 2022 is a great example. We were fully prepared. All the hotels were booked, and the routes planned. Then the newly commissioned Brittany Ferries ship broke down during its maiden voyage, and everything was delayed by 24 hours while a part was flown in and fitted.

That threw a massive spanner in the works, and even then, I didn’t learn the lesson, spending eight of the twenty-four hours replanning.

Don’t ruin a motorcycle tour with prescriptive planning. Go with the flow, because the chances are that something will go wrong. It will. That is life. Lean into the problems and enjoy fixing them. With a credit card and a mobile phone, you can do just about anything.

Where Can I Find …

That’ll Do

This is an important rule that applies to many aspects of touring. That’ll do, rather than perfection, is all you need.

On one of my first tours, I packed half the tools I had. I had talked myself into the idea that if I broke down, I’d be able to fix the bike at the roadside. Where I was going to get any parts I might need had completely missed me.

Other than fixing a flat tyre, there is little that we can do at the roadside. The objective is to get to a location with the necessary tools and spare parts, and then fix the motorcycle there.

Roadside repairs mainly involve an adjustable spanner, duct tape, cable ties and a screw driver. And if that doesn’t get the job done, hopefully, you have breakdown recovery insurance. Assuming you are in Europe and on a registered road rather than the TET, it may be a boring wait, but a breakdown truck will come and collect you.

The only items to ensure you have with you are inner tubes or a tyre plug kit, and a portable air pump.

If you’re travelling solo, you need to carry these things. Otherwise, spread the load amongst you. You only need one air pump.

Weight Matters

For a long time, I thought metal panniers were the answer. They are secure and waterproof, yet relatively heavy compared to the soft luggage alternatives.

There are lighter-weight ABS alternatives (eg, SW-Motech DUSC Cases), but they all encourage bad behaviour.

Once you have fixed the metal frame to the bike and attached the robust and solid panniers, the temptation is to fill the available space. Yet, everything you take just because you have the space is something you need to drag around for no reason.

How do I know this behaviour can ruin a motorcycle tour? – Okay, ‘ruin’ is a strong word; let’s go with ‘dampen’ – because I did just that. When I spent a month on the road, I had around 130 litres of luggage space, and I pretty much filled it to capacity.

That will have translated into many kilos of “stuff” I was dragging around with me. As it turned out, adding that much weight proved that the suspension needed an overhaul, but I’ll get to that point in a moment.

The chances of you being somewhere without clothes washing facilities for more than four or five days are minimal. If you are somewhere that remote, no one is likely to be around to notice you or comment on your clothing choices.

Most B&Bs will wash your clothing for a few extra euros. Hotels typically have laundry services, but they can be expensive. Campsites nearly always have a washing machine and dryer available. Find a laundrette or take your clothes with you to the shower.

Strangely, clean and ironed clothes tend to take up less space than those that have been worn. And those stylish trainers … sack them off for a pair of cheap canvas shoes, what we called plimsoles when I was a kid and are now trendy brands. They are not only lighter, but they pack down almost flat.

Preparation

We have no reason to think our motorcycle will break down. Having checked the oil and tyre pressures, made sure there are no obvious leaks and that I have enough petrol, I go for a ride.

And yet I’ve started a tour with knackered suspension, Carle had a chain decide to give up the ghost after 400 miles, and Roger had to bump-start his Africa Twin because the starter button decided working was no longer on its agenda.

In truth, we could all have avoided these mishaps if we had taken the preparation more seriously. Loading a shed ton of crap onto my Ducati was, in the first place, plain stupid. If I was going to carry that much crap, I should have tried it earlier and left enough time to fix any issues.

I’ve seen people start a long tour on the basis that they’ll get the bike serviced – typically a valve check – when they return. The logic is that they have a couple of thousand miles to go before it is due, and the trip will eat up the remaining mileage.

Tyre and chain wear rates are not linear. The closer they get to the end of their lives, the faster they wear. The closer the engine gets to a service interval, the more it needs fresh oil and a clean air filter.

A mechanical failure is going to dampen any tour. Looking back, the story of how you overcame adversity will be the story you tell the most, but touring is simpler without the avoidable hassle.

And proving that you can solve most things with a credit card and a mobile phone, Carle ordered a new chain, sprockets, and a chain breaker, and had them delivered to the hotel where we were staying for a few days.

We couldn’t fit them at the hotel, but the lovely lady at Haus Elena in Austria cleared a space in her garage and did everything she could to help us fix the problem.

Positive Ideas

Having thought about all the ways we have managed to screw up when touring, we have also developed a few good ideas along the way.

• Always make sure you have a set of dry clothes in a waterproof bag. Never mind how waterproof the outer bag is, put one change of clothes in an extra dry bag.
• Take photos of all your important documents with your phone. They won’t get you across any borders, but if you’re trying to obtain a new passport to return home, having a copy of the old one is a significant advantage.
• Always take two keys for everything and give the spares to someone else. If there is no one to share them with, don’t keep both sets of keys in the same place. If someone steals your jacket in a bar or café, both sets of keys would be lost.
• If you are travelling in a group and lose your wallet, hopefully the others will bail you out until you get home. When travelling solo, hiding a credit card on the bike somewhere was a useful backstop.
• The modern-day version involves having two cards registered on your phone (Google or Apple Pay). Just remember to leave the spare card at home. If it is in your wallet when it is lost or stolen, you’ll want to report it lost, which would stop the copy on your phone from working.

Hopefully, our extended tea break whinge session helps you avoid some of the stupid stuff we have done. Now, book a week off work and just go.